This post has a pretty big spoiler from ages ago.
So the other day I was watching the doctor who 50th anniversary and it made me think about what travelling with the doctor would be like if I was his companion. Haven’t we all thought about that? And we still hope that one day he will turn up at our house to pick us up and we will fight daleks together and be awesome. 😀
But there are a few teeeeny tiny problems that come with travelling with a time lord.
So the doctor turns up at your house, quickly introduces himself, raids your fridge, maybe deals with a couple of aliens in your kitchen, shows you the Tardis and then laughs at the inevitable “HOW CAN IT BE BIGGER ON THE INSIDE? OMG DOCTOR WHAAAT? YOU’RE CRAZY?”
Often when the doctor gets a new companion, he then asks them something along the lines of “All of time and space; everywhere and anywhere; every star that ever was. Where do you want to start?” What? WHAAAT? It sounds pretty magical and fantastic, but how is anyone supposed to answer that!? All of time and space, we’re just little Earthlings- we don’t know all of time and space, we barely know any of time and space. Besides, when you have all that choice, you don’t want to go somewhere you know, you want to go somewhere new, exciting and different. Somewhere awesome. Doctor, take me somewhere awesome.
First problem solved. Worming your way out of giving a straight answer. The makings of a great politician.
So you have thrown you life into to hands of a madman in a blue box, and have no idea whether tomorrow you will be in the future having coffe with some friendly catkind. Or on an alien planet running for you life from some not-so-friendly zygons. Which brings us on to next problem.
I’m sorry whovians, that was just cruel of me.
Yes, travelling with the doctor is extremely dangerous, and comes with a high chance of death. Being exterminated, being eaten alive, stepping out of the Tardis before you’ve landed. Life with the Doctor is dangerous, we all know that. But here’s the good, or maybe not-so-good part, depending on how fit you are. Most of the time, the doctor and his friends escape death by simply running away from whatever lovely creature has their heart (or alien equivalent) set on killing them. So it’s all good, just maybe if your anything like me, start going to the gym before the doctor turns up.
Look at him go! Run Doctor, run!!!
So everything is good, your going somewhere awesome, and you’re not going to die! YAY!!!!!
But there are still a couple of problems. You make it safely back to Earth after having an epic time with your new friend, who just happens to be a time lord. You start telling everyone you know about your fantastic adventures with the doctor. Slowly your friends start avoiding you until your the lunatic in your town with no friends. Even your local crazy cat lady seems pretty down to earth compared to you. No-one believes a word say. To make matters even worse, there is a problem with the problem: I can’t see any way at all how you could solve this problem. I guess you just have to wait for the next time Daleks invade London, and then say the best “I told you so” ever, and feel smug for all eternity. Alternatively, you could just not tell anyone all about the amazing time you had fighting aliens and saving the universe. But where’s the fun in that? And lets be honest, who could really keep something that fantastic secret? So please comment if you have any ideas of how to solve this, and then we can all stop worrying and be happy and sing. 🙂
Crazier than that. Oh god…
The final problem is simply the difficulty of returning to a normal life. Think about it, any person you see might be a slitheen, you could have a fear of all angel statues, or worry that all school teachers are actually Krillitanes.
Aren’t they delightful
Go away red squiggly lines, I promise you, slitheen and Krillitanes are words.
4 problems, 2 solved. Well, I’m such a helpful person. I suppose with the last two, you could just never return home. Time travel is more fun after all.
On the other hand, could solve all the issues by not getting in the Tardis at all, but seriously, refusing to travel through all of time and space with the coolest being ever… is there anyone who would ever say no to the doctor?
So there you have it, my attempt at solving issues which just started to become a list of reasons not to travel with the Doctor. But who cares about the problems? If the doctor turned up at my house, I’d be in the Tardis as soon as it lands. I think we all would.